โญโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโฎ โ โก tl;dr โก โ โฐโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโฏ
Unfollowed 3,600 people. Built a tool to make it survivable. Got my brain back. This is what I learned about attention, boundaries, and designing better mental architecture.
Prologue
The Breaking Point
The apartment was dark except for the glow.
I'd been sitting there forโI checked the clockโtwo hours. Two hours of nothing. Just my thumb, moving. Scroll. Pause. Scroll. The screen reflected in the window behind me, a ghost version of myself trapped in glass, endlessly consuming.
๐ฑ SCREEN TIME REPORT
Instagram: 2h 47m today
Total Social: 4h 12m today
โ 34% from last week
Someone I didn't recognize was showing me their breakfast. Then their workout. Then their thoughts on something I'd already forgotten. A girl I went to high school withโhaven't spoken to in eleven yearsโwas renovating her kitchen. Some random dude from a networking event I went to in 2019 was moving to Austin.
My brain was trying to care about all of it.
๐ญ THOUGHT LOOP
"Why do I know this? Why does my brain have a folder for 'Katie from Bio class's backsplash choices'?"
This wasn't just doomscrolling. It was an unintentional experiment in emotional contagionโthousands of people leaking their moods into my nervous system every day.
I looked at the number at the top of my following list.
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
โ โ
โ 7 , 4 8 7 โ
โ โ
โ strangers living in my head โ
โ โ
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ// how did it get this bad?
Seven thousand four hundred eighty-seven people. Seven thousand lives my brain was trying to track, absorb, and process. Seven thousand strangers whose emotional states were seeping into my nervous system without my consent.
7,487 strangers living in my head
The world we've built around ourselves
โ ๏ธ SYSTEM WARNING
Cognitive load approaching critical threshold. Pattern detected: unsustainable attention allocation. Recommend immediate system redesign.
Something in me snapped.
Not dramatically. Quietly. The way a bone finally gives after years of stress fractures.
๐ญ INTERNAL DIALOGUE
"I realized my brain was quietly trying to track thousands of lives that had nothing to do with mine. Not because I chose that, but because I never set a boundary."
โโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโ
THE AUDIT
Chapter 1
The Audit
โ STATUS UPDATE
Mental clarity: restored. The thought from last night hadn't faded. If anything, it had crystallized.
I woke up different. Something was broken, and I was going to fix it.
I sat with my laptop and a coffee that had gone cold, staring at my Instagram following list like it was a crime scene.
The engineer in me took over. When a system is broken, you don't guess. You audit.
The first hundred accounts:
โข 12 people I genuinely knew
โข 23 brands trying to sell me things
โข 8 "inspirational" accounts posting the same quotes
โข 47 strangers I couldn't remember following
โข 10 exes' friends (why was I stillโ)
Less than 15% of accounts in the first hundred were people I'd recognize in public. The other 85% were background noise masquerading as signal.
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
โ REAL PEOPLE: 15% โ โ
โ NOISE: 85% โ โ
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโI did the math. If that ratio held across 7,500 follows, I was giving 6,375 strangers direct access to my attention.
u good? you've been weird lately
yeah just tired. brain feels like soup
soup brain is real. maybe touch grass? ๐ฑ
i think it's more than that
i'm about to do something drastic
She didn't know it yet, but I was about to delete her cousin. And her ex. And 3,598 other people.
โโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโ
THE PSYCHOLOGY
Chapter 2
The Psychology
Your brain wasn't designed for this
Why does my brain feel like it's
running 7,500 background apps?
Before I started cutting, I needed to understand why this felt so heavy. I'm not the type to make emotional decisions. I needed the science.
Every time you see a post and think "I should respond to that" or "I wonder what happened with that"โyour brain opens a cognitive tab. Researcher Sophie Leroy calls this "attention residue." These unfinished loops consume mental bandwidth even when you're not actively thinking about them.
7,500 accounts = thousands of potential open loops.
โ Leroy (2009), 'Why is it so hard to do my work?'
That hit different. I thought about all the posts I'd seen and half-processed. The announcements I meant to comment on. The stories I watched but didn't reply to. Mental tabs. Everywhere.
What 7,500 follows looks like inside your head
But it got worse.
Emotions are literally contagious. Your mirror neurons simulate the emotional states you observe. A Facebook study proved this: users who saw more negative posts became more negative themselves.
Multiply that by 7,500 people's anxieties, frustrations, and highlight reels. Your emotional baseline is being shaped by thousands of strangers without your consent.
โ Kramer et al. (2014), Facebook emotional contagion study
I used to roll my eyes at words like "empath." Now I just notice that my mood silently mirrors whatever I consume. Every single one of those 7,500 accounts was a potential emotional transmission. Their joy. Their sadness. Their rage. Their anxiety. All of it, flooding into my system through a 6-inch screen.
So I became ruthless about what I let in.
Social media uses variable ratio reinforcementโthe same psychology that makes slot machines addictive. You scroll because sometimes there's something amazing. Dopamine releases from the anticipation of reward, not the reward itself.
More follows = more potential dopamine hits = more compulsive checking.
โ Skinner (1957), exploited by every social platform since
The engineer in me saw it clearly now. I had architected my own mental DDoS attack.
I would never design a production system this way. I'd never let thousands of unaudited services hit a single endpoint with no rate limiting.
But that's exactly what I was doing with my brain.
Mental architecture: before the audit
Chapter 2.5
The Emotional Tax
There's something they don't tell you about being online: you're expected to care. About everyone. All the time.
While I was auditing my follows, I noticed a pattern. The accounts stressing me out most weren't strangersโthey were people I felt obligated to track. My friend's sister. My ex-coworker's new business. That girl from college who always seemed one crisis away from disaster.
I wasn't following them because I wanted to. I was following them because not following felt like a moral failure.
We're socialized to be emotional caretakers. To notice when someone's struggling. To show up. To comment. To care. Social media weaponized that instinct and scaled it to 7,500 people.
Every time I saw a vague "today was hard" post from someone I barely knew, my nervous system registered it as a task I was failing to complete.
That's not empathy. That's exploitation.
"Your nervous system doesn't know the difference between a close friend's crisis and a stranger's vacation anxiety. It just knows: incoming. Incoming. Incoming."
I wasn't being mindful. I was being a landing pad for 7,500 people's emotional weather.
โโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโ
THE CUT
Chapter 3
The Cut
I made a rule. Simple. Non-negotiable.
"If I wouldn't text you back, I'm not going to watch your stories."
If I don't have the emotional bandwidth to show up for you in real life, I don't want to pretend I'm showing up for you online.
New rule: I only follow people who follow me back.
No more one-sided parasocial investments. And if you unfollow me? I've got a script that automatically unfollows you back. It's just politenessโclean boundaries, no drama.
Then I started.
The work begins
The first fifty were easy. Brands. Accounts that hadn't posted in two years. Random meme pages I didn't remember following.
// PURGE LOG โ HOUR 1
[-] @brandyoudontneed โ haven't bought anything in 3 years
[-] @motivationaldaily โ same 10 quotes on loop
[-] @randominfluencer โ literally who
[-] @exgirlfriendscousin โ ...why was this still here
Progress: [โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ] 47/7487 (0.6%)
โ
Mental Load: 74% (โ 2%)REMOVED: 47 accounts
Then it got harder.
People I kind of knew. Acquaintances. Friends-of-friends. The guy from that party three years ago who was actually pretty cool but we never hung out again.
What if they notice? What if they think I'm being rude? What ifโ
I caught myself. That thoughtโthat anxious loopโwas exactly the problem. I was spending emotional energy worrying about the feelings of someone I'd spoken to once in 2022.
Following someone creates a one-sided emotional bond called a parasocial relationship. You feel like you know them. Your brain treats their updates like news from a friend.
But they don't know you exist. At scale, you're emotionally investing in thousands of relationships that can never reciprocate. That's not connection. That's exhaustion.
โ Horton & Wohl (1956), updated for the algorithm age
I kept cutting.
// PURGE LOG โ HOUR 3
[-] @collegefriend2017 โ haven't spoken since graduation
[-] @networkingbro2019 โ never even spoke after
[-] @highschoolkatie โ nice kitchen though
[?] @mirasweirdcousin โ ...
[-] @mirasweirdcousin โ sorry mira
Progress: [โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ] 234/7487 (3.1%)
โ
Mental Load: 68% (โ 8%)REMOVED: 234 accounts
Every account is
a permission slip
into your mind
โโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโ
THE GRIND
7,500 accounts. Every one of them wants a piece of your attention.
Chapter 4
The Grind
Instagram doesn't make this easy.
Three days in, I'd learned the hard way:
โ ๏ธ THE PROBLEMS
- โThe UI is painfully slow โ designed to make you reconsider
- โYou get rate-limited randomly โ "action blocked" every 100 unfollows
- โNo way to see who's active vs ghost weight
- โThe "Following" list isn't sorted by anything useful
I started building a system. Because of course I did.
BEFORE: NO RATE LIMITS
AFTER: CURATED INPUTS
What started as manual labor became a tool. UnjankYourInstagramโa lightweight system to make the process safer and less tedious. Not because I wanted to build another thing. Because doing it manually was destroying my will to live.
how's the purge going
I'm at 5,200. down from 7,500
wait you actually did it??
yeah
I unfollowed your cousin btw
honestly same energy. she posts so much
Rewiring the neural pathways
โโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโ
THE SHIFT
Chapter 5
The Shift
I woke up without reaching for my phone.
That sounds small. It wasn't.
BEFORE
Chaos. Noise. Soup brain.
AFTER
Clarity. Space. Present.
For the first time in months,
the silence wasn't lonely
For the first time in I don't know how long, my brain didn't feel like it was running a hundred background processes. The silence inside my head was almost disorienting.
I checked the number: 3,847
I lay there, staring at the ceiling, and realized something had fundamentally changed.
BEFORE
Drowning in noise
AFTER
Space to think
With less noise, I could actually feel what mattered. Decisions that used to take hours of deliberation now felt obvious. My gut wasn't drowning in everyone else's opinions anymore.
I stopped unconsciously absorbing everyone else's aesthetics, opinions, and anxieties. My own voice got louder. I remembered what I actually liked, not what the algorithm suggested I should like.
Instead of getting sucked into scroll-holes, I found myself writing, building, finishing things. With fewer inputs, I started shipping more: more experiments, more tools. My screen time dropped; my output didn't.
When my attention wasn't sprayed across 7,500 parasocial connections, it was easier to be actually present. I want the people sitting across from meโthe ones who actually know my nameโto get a fully present version of me.
The Three Layers of Input
I started realizing my brain needed the same architecture as a good system: a tiny set of core dependencies, a few trusted signals, and almost no random noise.
๐๏ธ THE INPUT ARCHITECTURE
Layer 1: Core Circle
People who can actually text or call you. Whose lives intersect with yours in real space. Their input is allowed to shape your life.
Layer 2: Trusted Signals
A small set of creators, thinkers, builders whose work improves your thinking or craft. They earn their spot through consistent value.
Layer 3: Background Noise
Everyone else. Brands. Strangers. Acquaintances from 2017. They get rate-limited, muted, or unfollowed.
The Attention Budget
Think about it this way: Assume you have 100 "attention units" a day. Every open loopโevery story you half-watch, every post you half-care aboutโcosts one unit. Most people burn theirs on strangers before noon.
The purge wasn't about being antisocial.
It was reallocating my attention budget back to my work, my body, my people.
After: space to think, space to create
I protect my attention so I can be
fully present with the people
who actually matter
A 2022 study found that people who actively curated their feeds reported lower anxiety and higher life satisfaction than passive users. The key wasn't less time onlineโit was more intentional engagement.
Unfollowing isn't avoidance. It's environmental design.
โ Verduyn et al. (2022), Journal of Social Psychology
Chapter 6
The Comparison Industrial Complex
I opened Instagram and something was... different.
My feed wasn't a parade of engagement rings, promotions, and aesthetic renovations anymore. Because I'd unfollowed the acquaintances who only posted milestones I was supposed to measure myself against.
Here's what nobody tells you: every person you follow is a potential comparison point. And the comparisons are infinite.
โ Her career is further along
โ Her apartment is prettier
โ Their relationship looks healthier
โ Their life seems more... figured out
โ They're traveling while I'm working
I wasn't following these people because I liked them. I was following them because some part of me thought their success was evidence of my failure.
Unfollowing them wasn't jealousy. It was self-preservation.
It was finally saying: I don't need to spectate someone else's life to validate my own.
"The algorithm convinced me that consuming someone's life = connection. It's not. It's voyeurism with a like button."
Bonus
The Unfollow Hall of Fame
A selection of my greatest hits. You'll see yourself in at least three of these.
@startupguru2019
Some "entrepreneur" from a networking event. Exchanged cards once, never spoke again, but I watched their hustle content for 4 years. Why.
@motivationmonday
If I see one more "boss babe" graphic with a sunset I will scream
@highschoolfrienemy
She was mean to me in 2009 and I've been hate-watching her kitchen reno. Healing begins now.
@mlmbabe
Girl I love you but I'm not buying your wellness pyramid scheme
@exboyfriendsnewgirlfriend
This one I'm not proud of but also I'm free now
@coworker2018
We said "we should hang out!" once. We never did. That was 6 years ago.
If you felt personally attacked by this list, you're ready for your own purge.
FAQ
For Those Overthinking This
I know. You've already spiraled through seventeen what-if scenarios. Here:
Q: What if people think I'm being dramatic?
Let them. Your mental health isn't a democracy.
Q: What if I miss something important?
If it's actually important, someone will text you. If they don't have your number, it wasn't that important.
Q: What if someone gets hurt?
You're not responsible for managing other people's feelings about your boundaries. Read that again.
Q: What if I'm being cold?
Protecting your attention isn't cold. Pretending you have infinite bandwidth for strangers is what's fake.
Q: But isn't connection important?
Yes. And you can't actually connect with 7,500 people. You were never supposed to.
Your attention is not
a public utility.
Epilogue
The New Rule
I'm at 3,900 now. Still moving toward parity with my followers.
The goal isn't some perfect number. The goal is intention. The goal is treating my attention like it actually mattersโbecause it does. It's the only resource I can't get back.
This is connection
The trade is simple:
Fewer strangers in my head,
more presence for the people
across the table from me.
Here's my protocol now. Simple rules for anyone who wants to try:
๐ก๏ธ THE PROTOCOL
Define your rule
Mine: "Would I text this person back?" If no, unfollow. Yours might be different. Make it specific.
Do it in waves
Instagram rate-limits you anyway. Use it. 100-200 per day max. Notice how your feed changes after each round.
Don't announce it
This isn't performative. It's hygiene. Nobody needs to know. You're not punishing anyone. You're protecting yourself.
Notice the quiet
Pay attention to how your mind feels after a week. The silence is the point.
Only follow those who follow back
New rule: I only follow people who follow me. No more one-sided parasocial investments. If you don't reciprocate, I'm not pretending we're connected.
Automate the courtesy
I built a script to auto-unfollow anyone who unfollows me. It's just politenessโif you're done, I'm done. No hard feelings, just clean boundaries.
We built these machines
to connect us.
Somewhere along the way,
they started using our attention as fuel.
Taking it back isn't antisocial. It's the most human thing you can do.
If your feed feels like thousands of tiny open tabs in your nervous system, you don't need more willpower.
You need better architecture.
โญโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโฎ
โ (หถแต แต แตหถ) what changed โ
โ focused, present, selective โ
โฐโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโฏ
โญโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโฎ โ เผผ ใค โ_โ เผฝใค mission complete โ โ attention reclaimed โ โฐโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโฏ
FOLLOWING: 3,900
REMOVED: 3,600
MENTAL LOAD: manageable
STATUS: present
Progress: [โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ] 100%
โ System optimized โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
โฆ ๏ฝฅ๏พ๏ฝฅ : .๏ฝก. : ๏ฝฅ๏พ๏ฝฅ โฆ
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ ,-. (`-').->(`-') _ _(`-') _ (`-') (`-') (`-') _ (`-').->(`-') _<-. (`-')_ (`-') <-. (`-')_ _ <-. (`-')_ (`-') _ ,-.
/ | .-> <-. .-> _ .-> ( OO)_ ( OO).-/( (OO ).-> \-.(OO )<-.(OO ) ( OO).-/ ( OO)_ ( OO).-/ \( OO) )( OO).-> .-> \( OO) ) <-. (_) \( OO) ) ( OO).-/ | \
' .' <-.--. ,---(`-') (`-')----.(`-')----. \-,-----.,--.(,--. (_)--\_)(,------. \ .'_ _.' \,------,)(,------.(_)--\_)(,------.,--./ ,--/ / '._ (`-')----. ,--./ ,--/ ,--. ) ,-(`-'),--./ ,--/ (,------. '. '
| | (`-'| ,|' .-(OO ) (OO|(_\---'( OO).-. ' | .--./| | |(`-')/ _ / | .---' '`'-..__) (_...--''| /`. ' | .---'/ _ / | .---'| \ | | |'--...__) ( OO).-. '| \ | | | (`-') | ( OO)| \ | | | .---' | |
| | (OO |(_|| | .-, \ / | '--. ( _) | | | /_) (`-')| | |(OO )\_...`--.(| '--. | | ' | | |_.' || |_.' |(| '--. \_...`--.(| '--. | . '| |)`--. .--' ( _) | | || . '| |)| |OO ) | | )| . '| |)(| '--. | |
' '. ,--. | || | '.(_/ \_) .--' \| |)| | || |OO )| | | | \.-._) \| .--' | | / : | .___.'| . .' | .--' .-._) \| .--' | |\ | | | \| |)| || |\ |(| '__ |(| |_/ | |\ | | .--' .' '
\ | | '-' /| '-' | `| |_) ' '-' '(_' '--'\\ '-'(_ .'\ /| `---. | '-' /,-. | | | |\ \ | `---.\ /| `---.| | \ | | |,-. ' '-' '| | \ | | |' | |'->| | \ | | `---. | /
`-' `-----' `-----' `--' `-----' `-----' `-----' `-----' `------' `------' './ `--' `--' '--' `------' `-----' `------'`--' `--' `--''./ `-----' `--' `--' `-----' `--' `--' `--' `------' `-'โจ built with intention โจ
โญโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโฎ โ (๏ฝกโขฬแด-)โง about the author โ โฐโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโฏ
I'm obsessive about what I let into my head. This year I unfollowed 3,600 people, built a tool to fix my feed, and rebuilt my attention from the ground up.
Now my bandwidth goes to deep conversations, things I'm building, and the people who can actually knock on my doorโnot strangers in my explore tab.
This log is part of my ongoing work at the intersection of psychology, systems, and tools.
Everything I build is designed to help you think clearer, feel more grounded, and ship work that matters.